Editor’s Note: Andy Borowitz ran a funny piece entitled: Fox to Offer Twenty-Four-Hour Coverage of Bill Clinton’s Impeachment
I thought that he could have made it funnier if…
NEW YORK —Calling it a story “too hot for the so-called, ‘main stream media’ cable-news networks to handle,” Fox News Channel announced on Tuesday that it would begin airing twenty-four-hour coverage of Hillary Clinton’s 2017 impeachment.
Fox anchor Sean Hannity announced the programming change, telling viewers that Fox would devote all its resources to reporting the Clinton impeachment to the exclusion of all other news stories.
“This story has everything: Money, bribes, lies, misdeeds and sex. Examining Bill Clinton’s infidelities is where the ‘sex’ comes in. We at Fox believe it’s one of the most under-reported stories of the 21st century”, Hannity said. “We’ll leave no stone uncovered,” he added.
Calling it “the story Bill and Hillary Clinton don’t want you to hear,” Hannity said Fox would be unstinting in its effort to get to the bottom of the impeachment.
Saying it’s “high time that Hillary be held accountable for her litany of crimes, we’re also prepared to go where no other news organization is willing to go and that includes, of course, examining the pedophile ring that was operating out of a Clinton-linked pizzeria in Washington D.C.”
Fox announced that beginning Monday, as part of uncovering the many scandals associated with the Bill and Hillary Clinton presidencies, Fox & Friends will examine the completely overlooked and shocking story first brought to the World’s attention in 1992 by the highly respected Weekly World News when it reported: “Alien Backs Clinton!” (see photo below) “Quite literally, from the moment Bill Clinton entered the White House, it’s been nothing but one scandal followed by another,” said Steve Bannon of the highly regarded, Breitbart News. “It’s almost impossible to imagine. Not only is it unfathomable but completely unheard of!” he added.
“Never mind so-called Russian interference in the 2016 election,” Alex Jones, publisher of the award winning website, “Infowars” said, “the real story of foreigners corrupting our electoral process begins with Bill Clinton way back in 1992. Why isn’t Rachel Maddow talking about this? I’ll tell you why, this is part of a vast cover-up by the left-wing media, along with the Sandy Hook conspiracy.”
Fox also announced, with the addition of crack-journalist Laura Ingraham’s new program, “The Ingraham Angle,” she will provide around the clock coverage of the neglected but overwhelming evidence of Hillary Clinton’s responsibility for Benghazi and of course, the shocking scandal involving Uranium One, dating back to 2010 which led to her current troubles with Congress and will become the focal point of Impeachment charges that will most likely result in her conviction and removal from the Oval Office. Laura will also examine the real Russian scandal which involves “kickbacks and extortions” to the Clinton Administration which according to sources, President Obama is aware of (see photo.)
“We can only imagine what the world would be like if The Clinton’s hadn’t stolen the 2016 election and Donald Trump was in the Oval Office today,” said, Newt Gingrich. “Instead, we’re the ‘laughing stock’ of the world. Sad!”
“We can only dream about how much better America would be if the Alien hadn’t interfered in the 1992 election. Imagine America, if the presidency had been in the hands of Republicans since 1992,” said Rush Limbaugh.
Putin, shown with President Clinton.